02 Jun Who are you…really?

Who are you?…Really?

Life is a journey – a journey of discovery, of purpose, of soul…of you.

We get to know ourselves through life, through the experiences we are part of, through the situations and circumstances we encounter.

But how much of ourselves do we really know, do we really allow? Do we skirt over the bits we don’t like as though they don’t exist, do we bury them deeply so we don’t have to look at them or are we willing to meet those aspects of ourselves fully?

Who am I?

I am a medium and mentor, working with Spirit and Soul.

I love life, I love exploring myself within life and I LOVE the work I do. Connection is important to me – with those in this world and within Spirit. And I am passionate about connecting within and of ourselves because I believe that our spiritual development (with Spirit) can only be truly realised by spiritualising our life and that means moving deeper within. That’s why connection with and through the soul is so important – it opens all that we are and enables so much potential. And not just for us but for those energies of light, of love, of presence from the divine essence, the Spirit.

I push myself with my work and I trust how I work and what I am given; I’ve had far too many experiences (past life, going up into Spirit) not to trust what seems totally irrational and yet which I can feel to be truth with every fibre of my being. I can be a hard taskmaster (with compassion) with teaching because I can see the potential of the people I work with and I can see the potential that Spirit are waiting to meet within them – and that is SO exciting.

There are so many things within what we do with Spirit and within ourselves, through our soul expression that we have not even touched the surface of and THAT is exciting: so much potential that we haven’t even begun to realise.

I love animals, they have always saved me, they have opened me and losing them has broken me. And yet I believe and trust in the power of love and in the power of HOPE – Heart Open, Positive Expectations.

I know that everything has a reason within it, a lesson, an aspect of growth, even though we may not be able to see it at the time. I fall down every single day, and every day I pick myself up again because there is always a reason to, there is always a reason for being, a joy that I can find in living life.

I love coffee and I love a good cheese scone, warm with salted butter. I’m also a fan of sourdough toast with peanut butter, jam and a banana sliced on top – that is a gorgeous piece of heaven.

I can be funny but I am generally more serious than I am light hearted. I’m not perfect and I know that, I have huge discipline in some areas and very little in others and if I need to challenge myself and push boundaries then I know a good physical challenge also helps with that.

So that is an overview of who I am, but is it who I am really…? That depends on whether who I am now is still influenced by who I was. If that story I have lived is still exerting its influence, if I am trying to escape it or if I have accepted it, honour it and simply allow it to be.

It depends on whether we can meet ourselves where we are.

So who am I…really?

I’m someone who has had to learn to connect emotionally with myself, with others, because I didn’t have a good emotional foundation as a child. I always felt out of place and didn’t know who I was so I escaped into daydreams. I didn’t really understand many aspects of myself until I met my father in my late 20s; I recognised so much of myself in him – finally I felt a sense of belonging that I had been searching for.

I am someone who has had to release guilt and shame over sexual abuse as a child and who has had to accept and allow myself as a vibrant, sexual, sensual woman who wants to enjoy intimacy and to share that part of herself.

I’m someone who enrolled in drama school when I was younger because I was so desperate to be someone other than myself not realising the experience would mean that I had to start taking the mask off rather than put it on.

I am someone who suffered from bulimia for years and has had to learn to love her body, to honour and respect it; someone who has had to learn to be unafraid of food and forge a relationship with it.

I’m someone who was deeply afraid of allowing the depth of my emotions because I didn’t know how to handle them. I was afraid of losing control because when I have – when I have been in that deep, dark, despairing place where you really can’t see any way out, I have tried to commit suicide and I wondered if I went there again, would I actually make it through? So I have had to work to find ways to balance my emotional and mental health and to remain healthy and objectively witness.

I am someone who hid myself, hid my voice, hid behind so many barriers because I was afraid of meeting myself, of not being able to overcome the challenges within and of myself, of living a life that wasn’t true because I wasn’t brave enough to be who I really was.

I am someone who has realised that our greatest gift is our vulnerability; that it is our secret weapon because to surrender is to allow, accept and to be and only from that place can we move forward.

So who am I? I am both parts of my story – the then and the now – for who I was has gifted me the person I am now and I am deeply appreciative of that.

Why am I sharing this? Because who we are is always so much more than we think, so much more than we allow ourselves to see; what we have lived through life’s experiences has value.

No one has lived a life without scars, no one has lived a life without trauma. No one is perfect and isn’t that a joy for suddenly we don’t have to measure up to an impossible standard!

We have all failed fabulously and we have all risen again, put one step in front of the other and carried on and each time we do we are able to meet ourselves more deeply; we resonate with our soul more strongly because we are allowing who we are. Isn’t that freeing?

We are allowing who we are. Who we are is not what is on the surface, who we are is the grit that has got us here, the mud that allows the lotus to bloom in all of its glorious beauty. Who we are is the acceptance of everything we have been through and the acknowledgment that life is a process of unfolding not a competition in perfection.

Who we are is the courage that rises when we need to stand tall; it is the surrender we allow when we need to fall down; is the belief we embody when our soul’s roar calls us forth and refuses to let us pass on our potential.

Who we are is the choice we make when we choose to look in the mirror, see our truth and honour that. Who we are is the choice that we make when we look back on life and accept how it has formed us so that we can neutralise the stories that we no longer want to define.

So…who are you?

Much love x x